Understanding Gaslighting: What It Is and What It Isn’t
In a recent article for Parade Magazine, lifestyle writer Casey Clark addresses a common misconception: the overuse and misapplication of the term “gaslighting.” Her piece, “7 Things People Think Are Gaslighting but Actually Aren’t, Psychologists Say,” highlights an important distinction that’s often misunderstood in everyday conversation.
Gaslighting isn’t simply a disagreement with your partner or a friend misremembering an event. Genuine gaslighting involves intentional, repeated psychological manipulation meant to make someone doubt their own reality or perceptions.
Ben Bernstein, PhD, psychologist at Silver Hill Hospital, emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between genuine manipulation and normal human behaviors—such as defensiveness, miscommunication, or just different interpretations of the same event.
“Differentiating between miscommunication and manipulation is critical and can help prevent overusing a term that carries serious weight,” Bernstein explains.
By clarifying what gaslighting truly involves, we can have more meaningful conversations about relationship dynamics while reserving this serious term for situations where it genuinely applies.